


Without Knowing All (Stay What You Are)

by bitsori



Series: Stay What You Are [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Developing Relationship, Feelings Realization, M/M, Oblivious Han
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 17:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15912639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori
Summary: A list of things that match: Rest and Relaxation, Peanut butter and Jelly, Lee Minho and Han Jisung; canon!fic.





	Without Knowing All (Stay What You Are)

**Author's Note:**

> My summary is lame because I'm never good with those. But this fic is really more or less about Han lacking self-awareness.

  


The first time Jisung sees Minho, he’s awestruck by his good looks and for a few moments, time seems to stand still. He doesn’t think much about it - he figures that’s just natural reaction when you find someone to be good looking.

Jisung assumes that he’s a new trainee because he’s looking lost, and even somewhat bewildered, and he has no one else with him; Jisung wonders, as a trainee sunbae, if he should come over and introduce himself but before he makes a decision, Seungmin conveniently passes by and Jisung pulls his friends arm and demands to be let in on the identity of the new guy.

“Ah?” Seungmin follows his gaze, and nods. “Minho-hyung? He’s only been here a week.”

He wonders how he could have missed Minho by an entire week, but he pushes those thoughts away and instead asks to be properly introduced. And because Seungmin is a good friend, a good _person_ , he agrees to do so without question.

“Minho-hyung, this is Jisung. Han Jisung, Lee Minho.” Jisung doesn’t even realise that he’s staring, at least not until Seungmin elbows his side. “Jisung raps, mainly,” Seungmin drones on, but he’s kind of giving Jisung a weird look and that’s more than enough for him to gather his wits about, and flash a smile at the newcomer.

“Hi, nice to meet you Minho-hyung!” And okay, he probably should have been more careful with formal speech and proper use of honorifics, but he reasons with himself that ‘-hyung’ is how Seungmin had introduced Minho which makes his own informality perfectly within reason.

  
  


Despite Jisung’s early (and quite obvious) fascination with Minho, the first few weeks that the dancer starts training with the whole team, a fair amount of distance is kept between the two of them. Jisung is quite extroverted when needed and he usually has an easy time befriending people, but something about Minho feels hard to approach.

“Stop staring so intently at the new kid,” Changbin tells him once, which has Jisung laughing way too loudly - _defensively_ \- in response.

“He’s supposed to be a dancer, right?” That’s what he heard anyway. The trainee rumor mill has informed him that Minho was even a back-up dancer for BTS at their their recent tour, which was more than enough reason for everyone to accumulate interest in him. “I just wanted to check and compare how well my dancing measures up.” It isn't a lie at all; Jisung has always been confident of his skills. He fancies himself a rapper but he doesn't think he's a bad vocalist or dancer, and ever since he's become a trainee at JYP Entertainment he thinks he's only managed to improve. Changbin doesn’t look entirely convinced by what he's saying, but Jisung ignores the weird look his friend gives him because as far as _he_ ’s concerned, that’s all the reason he needs to be this curious.

Minho doesn’t seem to be entirely closed up though, after all from Jisung's perspective he looks like he isn't having any trouble getting along with the others, especially not Seungmin, or Chan, even, and Jisung would reason that Chan tends to be more intimidating than most to newer trainees considering how long he’s been with the company. But every time he would even try and approach, Minho’s eyes start to look a little panicked, making Jisung wonder what he could have done to make Minho feel so wronged. (“Don’t let your imagination get away with you, you're not _that_ important,” Seungmin told him once, eyes rolling in a way that made Jisung joke about clawing them out for him.)

It’s pure and genuine coincidence that Jisung walks in on Minho practicing by himself one late night; he’d forgotten his music player at the practice room so he’d told the other dorming members to go ahead of him.

When he rushes back into their practice room, however, there he is, Lee Minho, in the middle of doing the new choreography they had all been learning together just earlier.

“It's no fair, you're trying to get ahead all of us, hyung!” Jisung doesn't mean the words, not truly. He understands that this is clearly Minho working hard and trying to catch up with the rest of them and their years of training.

Minho looks genuinely surprised by Jisung’s appearance, but the corners of his mouth do turn up enough that Jisung doesn't feel completely unwelcome.

They stay in that room until late hours of the night, doing the same routine over and over until Minho decides that he's executing the steps good enough - Jisung doesn't tell him that he thinks Minho was doing great to begin with, because he understands all too well that the highest standards you need to meet are the ones you set for yourself.

They end up collapsing on the floor together, exhausted.

“Thanks for the company, Jisung-ah.” And then for some reason, Minho starts to laugh. It doesn't sound malicious, but more like a way for Minho to release excess energy and, dare Jisung say, anxiety. Whatever it is, Jisung _gets it_ , which is how he finds himself joining in on the hysterics.

  
  


It becomes easier after that night; when they're practicing choreography and Jisung finds himself having trouble with a step or two, he starts approaching Minho before anyone else. At first there’s still a hint of panic in the dancer’s eyes whenever Jisung would ask assistance, but it finally dawns on the younger boy that it comes from Minho feeling like he can’t believe there’s really something he can contribute to the team. So he does it more, and more, and _more_ until Minho starts to act confident enough that he’s even volunteering ideas for choreography all by himself.

It’s not like they become best friends, but Minho has a draw to him that has Jisung naturally gravitating towards him for anything and everything. Maybe it has to do with how they’re both inherently affectionate people because he never thinks too much about leaning against Minho when he’s too tired; or hugging the older boy from behind as a sign that he wants to play.

“Hyung,” he’d call out, and tug at Minho’s shirt, and—  

Maybe it’s Jisung’s way of letting Minho know that he’s welcome to the group, that he enjoys his company - and maybe Minho gets that, because every time his face lights up from Jisung’s attention, Jisung always feels like he did something good.

  
  


When they start filming for their survival reality, cameras feel like they’re shoved into their faces all the time and Jisung _thrives_ on it. He enjoys the attention, it powers him, propels him towards betterment.

And then Park Jinyoung starts cutting trainees and Minho is the first casualty. Jisung is struck with mild panic - at first he thinks it’s a sham, that surely Minho will be back. But for the first time, nerves starts to build in him and days pass and the elimination sinks in deeper and deeper. When the filming crew shows them Minho’s video letter, he starts to get all choked up, but right beside him Seungmin is breaking down completely which makes Jisung feel like he _needs_ to hold himself together.

He waits until the cameras are all packed up before he lets himself cry. He thinks he looks even worse than Seungmin did earlier, ugly sobbing his eyes out. No one’s around to see him now, and when he hears sheets rustling in the bed across his, all he can do is pull his own comforter over his head.

(And then Felix is eliminated, and it starts to feel even more real, _harder_ , and the only thing that keeps Jisung going is repeatedly reminding himself every night that this is _his_ _dream_ and then—

And then Park Jinyoung lets them debut as nine anyway, and all the tears turn into happy ones.)

  
  


“Do you ever think about what you would have done if not all nine of us debuted?” _If you weren’t in the group_ , is the obvious connotation in Jisung’s question. He actually waits until they’re done with their District 9 promotions to ask this, but it’s been in the back of his head for a while.

Minho is comfortable with all of them now; he joins in on jokes, and he’s long shed any form of shyness when it comes to interacting with the members. He’s learned to speak his mind - _maybe a little too much even,_ Woojin had joked once after Minho had yet again made another playful but cutting remark. Jisung doesn’t mind though, he likes Minho’s humor. He thinks it complements his very well. He told Changbin this once, and the other boy had laughed and agreed all too quickly. (“Not sure that’s supposed to be a good thing though,” a passing Seungmin had retorted.)

Even so, there have been a few too many moments when Jisung has seen through him. The night after their debut showcase, Minho and Jisung were in their living room, the latter trying to teach the former about a card game he’d learned in Malaysia when Minho, seemingly out of blue, had made a comment, “It really, _truly_ happened.”

“Hyung?” Jisung had looked up to check for Minho’s expression because he could tell that the elder wasn’t talking about the Ace of Hearts that he’d just pulled out from Jisung’s hand. He’d found Minho, just staring at the cards already on the floor, and without him saying anything Jisung had figured it out. _Debut_ . Minho had been talking about debuting; they’d released songs, and had even done low-scale promotions with _Mixtape_ tracks but all that time, Minho had continued to be on the edge, waiting for the figurative other shoe to drop.

“Hyung!” Soft laughter escaped Jisung, and he nodded while Minho stared at him. “Hyung, it did,” he continued, with growing laughter; and then he’d reached forward, and tightly wrapped both of his arms around Minho like a hug was what the older needed to fully grasp the reality of having debuted as an idol.

And now he’s making Minho revisit those insecurities, but it’s because he wants to know that Minho has truly embraced _this_ reality.

_Do you ever think about what you would have done it not all nine of us debuted?_ The question hangs in the air, tense. Minho is quiet, but Jisung knows he heard. He’s actually thought about it a lot even though he’d _thrived_ during their survival show. It had made him think about everyone he’s met through his years of being a trainee, everyone who’s had to leave. Friends who got disillusioned and went back to living regular lives, friends who went and tried their luck at other agencies - some of them still struggling, others already debuted. He wonders a lot where Minho would be, if he’d never made it back to the team. He always wonders this about Felix too, but it’s Minho who is here now, and it’s Minho’s thoughts anyway that Jisung is always wanting to know.

“I always knew I was coming back with a vengeance,” Minho finally answers, his tone saucy. “Who can resist me?” He adds, a confident smirk decorating his lips, but the few seconds it took for him to answer was enough for Jisung to understand that Minho’s cheeky words are empty.

“I’m sorry hyung.” Jisung’s words are dripping with sincerity - he likes to joke around, but one time Chan had told him that he’s always worn his heart on his sleeve. “I’m really glad you’re here now.”

“It’s the past now anyway.” Minho sighs, but this time Jisung can tell that he’s being genuine. “We debuted - all nine of us, so it doesn’t really matter anymore.”

  
  


The other members are _always_ talking about how strange Minho is. “It’s okay to be normal once in a while,” Woojin would even jokingly tell Minho every now and then, and everyone would just laugh, Minho included.

Jisung thinks they’re crazy because that’s exactly what he likes so much about Minho. He likes when Minho makes him laugh, and he _loves_ when _he_ makes Minho laugh. The best thing is that it’s so easy - when they’re together, laughter flows so freely. Jisung loves all the members, but he’d be lying if he said that he shared the same type of friendship with everyone.

Take, for example, his relationship with Changbin. The two of them have been through a lot, and he knows they’ll be through a lot more. They share a lot of commonalities, and Jisung knows that he’d never have improved as much as he did if they didn’t share a friendly rivalry. He appreciates that, and he knows he can go to Changbin for anything, but it’s not the same as the easy, thoughtless camaraderie he shares with Minho.

There’s also the type of friendship he has with Seungmin - in some ways that’s easy too, they’re the same age after all. But Seungmin nags a lot, and even though Jisung knows that he means well - and even though he’s learned to brush most of Seungmin’s demands off by now - it’s hard because they don’t always have the same humor or sensibility.

The list goes on; each member is special to Jisung, and his relationship with each of them is filled with lots of intricacies because people are complex like that. He appreciates everyone, and maybe it’s not fair to play favorites; but even though he would never admit it out loud, in the pits of his heart, Jisung has learned to accept that Minho is favorite.

  
  
  


“Hyung, we match well, don’t you think?” Jisung brings it up once in the middle of stretching with Minho.

“Do we?” Minho sounds amused and not unhappy about the statement - but Jisung could also hear the wheels in his head turning as he tries to come up with a witty response. The fact that this is exactly how Jisung expected Minho to react just reinforces the idea in his head. They match so well and he knows this because he knows Minho so well.

“I think we really, really do,” he insists, a proud smile on his face that only goes away when he grunts as Minho helps him stretch his back.

“I bet you say that to all the pretty boys,” Minho answers this time, which makes Jisung laugh.

“Yes, but you’re the prettiest hyung,” Jisung deadpans, because he’d had this comeback prepared right from the start of the conversation.

Minho laughs, and turns to face him. “You bet I am,” he comments, and Jisung doesn’t tell him that the way his eyes sparkle are the reason why Jisung means his words a hundred percent.

  
  


One time, they get a day off and everyone makes plans. Half of the team decide to go visit their respective homes because everyone’s pretty much aching for home cooked meals after spending weeks just ordering in, or eating convenience store food. Felix quietly tags along when Woojin invites him to a meal at his parent’s, while Jeongin agrees to go see a movie with Chan.

The leader invites Jisung as well,  but instead he declares he’s going along with Minho. “I want to play with your cats too, hyung,” he’d whined and moaned, and even though Minho initially pretends that he’s being a pain in the ass, he’s also the one making sure that the younger has his train pass with him while pulling a cap down over Jisung’s head. (He also makes sure that Jisung knows the difference between his cats while they’re on the way, makes sure that Jisung knows all the right words to compliment his mom’s cooking, makes sure that Jisung enjoys the entire day to the fullest.)

When they get back to the dorm early in the evening, Changbin is on the couch by himself. Minho heads straight to his room, while Jisung, for once, decides to bother and cling onto someone else.

“Hi hyung,” he greets Changbin as he plops himself down on the couch next to the other rapper, taking the opportunity to snatch the TV remote control away while Changbin follows Minho with his gaze until the latter closes his bedroom door behind him.

“Oi!” Changbin only manages to react to Jisung’s sneakiness once the younger has switched channels.

Jisung quickly slides the remote inside his shirt before he leans back with a self-satisfied smirk. Changbin shakes his head but he doesn’t make any other attempt to grab the remote control back; Jisung knows he was barely paying attention to what he was watching anyway because the channel he had on previously was only playing a movie that Jisung knows Changbin has seen at least a dozen times.

“Hey, Jisungie, have you liked someone? And I mean _like_ like someone.” Changbin drops the question while Jisung impatiently switches from one channel to another, looking for something easy to watch. He ends up pausing on the weather report as he turns to look at Changbin with surprise.

“What?” Jisung laughs because it’s so out of left field - so random and unexpected especially coming from Changbin. But there’s soft stirring suddenly felt at the bottom of his stomach, like the question has triggered something in him that he’s been ignoring for a while. “Why, did you meet someone?”

Jisung flashes a teasing grin and pokes at Changbin’s side only to get his hand swatted away. “Yah, idiot. It’s not about me — just answer the question!” Changbin’s laughing along, but Jisung can tell that he was serious about the question, so he allows himself to quiet down and think about it. The two of them have known each other for so long but he realises that this is the first time they’re even touching this topic. When they were trainees, he never even thought about Changbin liking anyone. The two of them had been more focused on sharing their music and honing their skills — there hadn’t been time for anything else.

“There were some cute girls here and there,” he answers with a shrug. And there were; there was even that one girl from his first year as a trainee. She’d given him chocolates on Valentine’s Day, ones he _knew_ weren’t obligatory friendship chocolates - they were homemade, catered to his taste, and it made him feel good enough that he went ahead and treated her to a movie one month later on White Day. And then they’d lost touch, and he hadn’t really given her any kind of thought until now. He hopes she’s doing well, but he doesn’t especially miss her, nor does he feel compelled to look her up.

He wonders why Changbin is bringing this up now, and he looks at the older, staring and waiting for him to get to the point.

“Don’t you think that when you like someone, it’s when you can’t stop wanting to be around them? When you can’t stop wanting to make them smile - and when you want to make sure you understand what they’re thinking all the time?”

Jisung’s face contorts into a more serious expression as he considers Changbin’s words. He’s given the feeling that the latter is trying to make him understand something, but he just gets confused. “What are you saying, hyung..?”

His teammate shrugs and breaks out into a grin as he lightly punches Jisung on the arm. “Just food for thought, you know.”

“Yah! Hyung!” Jisung groans and dramatically holds his arm, acting like it hurt from the hit even though Changbin’s knuckles had barely grazed him. “Is this for a song? Are you writing love songs now?! It doesn’t fit you!”

He’s half expecting some stupid comeback from the elder, but Changbin just laughs and pats him on the shoulder before getting off the couch, and heading off to his room.

  
  


It’s another overseas schedule and this time around, while everyone else drew lots for the spare solo bedroom, Jisung easily takes two key cards from the manager and hands one over to Minho.

“But I wanted the solo,” Minho comments, but it’s obvious that he’s teasing because he’s smiling and he isn’t exactly returning the key. “I want my—”

“No, hyung,” Jisung interrupts him with a laugh, palm raised to show that  he’s not accepting any objections.

“I don’t want to room with Han Ji—” Minho starts to announce, but before he can finish, Jisung is already clamping his hand over his mouth.

“Hyung!” Minho licks his palm and Jisung’s shriek echoes around the lobby, but the other members barely take notice because they’re too used to scenes like this between the two of them. “Hyung!” Jisung groans, pulling his hand away only to wipe it against Minho’s shirt sleeve.

The older male flashes a self-satisfied smirk, but he doesn’t put up any more of a fight as he’s dragged by Jisung to the correct hotel room.

  
  


As per usual, Jisung drifts off into dreamland the moment his head hits the pillow. The jet lag isn’t that bad - the timezones aren’t much different around Asia after all, but waiting around in between rehearsals can be just as tiring as non-stop dancing. And so he isn’t sure what time it is when he’s suddenly woken up by soft muttering noises coming from across the room.

“Hyung?” Jisung calls out, only to get nothing in response. He sits up and ruffles his hair, eyes blinking rapidly before he manages to focus his vision on the other bed. Minho is tucked under his blankets all snug, unmoving but clearly mumbling some gibberish Jisung can’t understand. “Hyung?” He whispers again, trying not to laugh at Minho’s alien language. Minho’s sleep talking is not exactly anything new, but they don’t share a room back at the dorm so he mostly only hears stories about it. Excited, he slides out from under his own covers and crosses the few steps it takes to get from his bed to Minho’s.

He has his phone with him, and he’s quick to unlock it and navigate to his voice recording app. “Hyung?” He whispers once more, this time punctuated with a snigger as he positions the mic in front of Minho’s mouth.

He ends up asking a few more questions - “Hyung, what’s your superhero name?” “Hyung, what’s the square root of five hundred thirty five?” “Hyung, is Han Jisung the sexiest Stray Kids member?” Each one is answered with words that don’t really make sense, amusing Jisung more and more each time.

“Hyung, is Jisung your favorite?” He asks before trailing off into complete silence. He feels like it takes longer for Minho to answer this time, but it really only takes him a couple of seconds before he grunts and recites another string of mish-mashed words that don’t really make any sense together.

“Hyung, I think I like you.” The words just slide off Jisung’s tongue, surprising even himself. _Crap_ , he thinks. It’s probably all those things that Changbin has put in his head - in fact he’s sure that this confession is entirely Changbin’s fault because he can hear his fellow rapper’s voice faintly droning on in the back of his head. _When you like someone, you want to be around them all the time - you want to keep making them smile._ Now he begins to realise what the stirring sensation at the pit of his stomach had been at the time - familiarity.

He freezes upon hearing himself, half expecting Minho to wake up. _I like you_ , he repeats in his head, as if to make sure it’s a conscious thought. He even holds his breath and quietly counts in his head - _one, one thousand, two, one thousand, three_ \- before he allows himself to exhale softly and stop his recording.

He curls up next to Minho, and it only takes several minutes before Minho is naturally shifting in his sleep, accommodating the space Jisung takes up. The elder’s arm wraps around Jisung’s midsection, causing the latter to move closer against him under the blankets.

Jisung’s last thoughts are about how nice it is, falling asleep to the sound of Minho’s even breathing, surrounded by the comfort of Minho’s familiar scent.

  
  


When Jisung wakes up the next morning, his left arm feels dead. He whines quietly and starts to shift, only to realise that Minho’s arm is still wrapped around him. A smile grows on his lips, and then it falters as he wonders - he’s pretty sure he’s a fussy sleeper - Seungmin’s complained about him tossing and turning and thrashing in his sleep one too many times before - so it’s unfamiliar, waking up in exactly the same position that he remembers falling asleep in the night before.

Minho’s face is too close to his as well, adding another layer of bubbling terror in chest. _Hyung_ , he mouths - but no actual sound comes out. He’s nervous about how nice this feels, and he panics completely when Minho begins to stir.

He rolls over, and stumbles out of the tiny bed, ending up on his ass on the floor.

“Jisung-ah?” Minho is awake. _Shit_ , Jisung thinks. _He’s awake._

“I’m here hyung,” He answers, managing to gather enough emotion to avoid answering robotically.

“Obviously,” Minho answers because even in his half awake state he can be quite the sass master. And then his voice softens as he sits up to look down at Jisung. “What are you doing on the floor?”

“I—” Jisung cringes as he feels the prickling of imaginary pins and needles on his arm. “I fell off the bed.” He answers with the truth, because it’s the easiest — but he doesn’t explain that it’s the pure agitation at the thought that Minho might second guess the reason as to why Jisung was even in bed with him.

“I slept so nicely,” is what he gets from Minho’s instead, reminding Jisung that the older has never minded Jisung’s company in his sleep. Minho thinks it’s normal because it _is_. It should be — it’s not the first time they’ve fallen asleep together, not the first time that Jisung has declared Minho’s bed to be more comfortable in his own.

Except now Jisung’s heart is pounding so loud, so hard against his rib cage that it’s scary.

  
  


Jisung sits next to Minho at the airport, but the latter keeps flipping through some airline magazine he’d borrowed from their manager, refusing to even acknowledge the younger’s presence. Jisung squints _hard_ , wondering how long it would take for him to will Minho’s attention on him. Not long apparently, because only a couple of minutes at most pass before the corners of Minho’s lips are curling and he’s closing the magazine.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he retorts, bringing a smile to Jisung’s own face.

“I need to tell you something hyung.” He didn’t plan this, but the words and feelings are clamoring in his chest, demanding to be released. He’s nervous, of course, but there’s nothing that Jisung knows he can’t conquer if he puts his mind to it - he’s always been a go-getter. Besides, if he’s as in sync with Minho as he believes - and he truly wants to believe it - then he should be fine. This is what he drills into himself anyway as Minho turns to face with him a surprised, yet curious expression.

_I like you, hyung_ , he mouths.

He enjoys the way Minho’s brow crease in confusion, the left corner of his mouth quirking up in a questioning manner. Jisung’s ears start to feel warm because he’s not sure if he wants to repeat the words out loud.

_I. Like. You_ , he repeats, still not out loud but this time more carefully emphasising each word and syllable.

“Oh.” Minho’s expression relaxes as he manages to read Jisung’s lips, only to tense up again as he lets the statement settle in. “ _Oh._ ”

Jisung freezes and sits up straighter, more nervous than he remembers feeling for a long time now, possibly including debut day. “Hyung?”

“I like me too,” Minho comments, laughing.

Jisung bites the inside of his cheek, unsure if he’s annoyed that Minho didn’t seem to get it or if it’s because _now_ he has to explain himself. But then Minho is leaning in until his mouth is right next to his ear, and Jisung’s frustration is is pushed down in favor of anxiety.

“I like you too, Jisungie,” Minho whispers, and Jisung can only widen his eyes, uncertain if the other male means it the same way he did.

He wants to ask but they’re in the middle of an airport, surrounded by hundreds of people and he’s sure this isn’t the place to make a scene. But then Minho is sliding his hand in Jisung’s, and this isn’t exactly new or groundbreaking - it’s typical fanfare between the two of them, really, but it calms him down considerably.

For now, he’ll have to trust that they match as well he thinks.

  


**∴**

**Author's Note:**

> I got this prompt from a generator: _Imagine your OTP not having enough blankets for both of them and sharing. It takes some doing, but they settle comfortably into each other’s arms and fall asleep listening to each other’s heartbeat, smelling their hair, feeling the rise and fall of their breath. The next morning, they’re still in the same position._
> 
> I was going to use it for an AU fic, but halfway through the scene I thought it would fit genfic ...and then it spiraled. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
